Courting does not work like this
by Pinetasticapple
Summary: The one where Ike and Link don't know how to talk to each other and Roy decides to offer some advice.


To be honest I had this resting since October but depression hit me hard and I couldn't manage to work on it until I saw it a few days ago. So, this is me getting back on the fanfic train, and Smash Bros train?

Unbeta'd since I don't have one.

* * *

**Courting does not work like this**

"The winner is… Ike!"

The crowd cheered and clapped as Ike rested his sword on his shoulders, giving a curt nod at the people and cameras around the stage. Behind him were the respectively winners of the second, third and fourth place, Samus, Marth and Kirby.

"There goes another gold medal for the peasant boy" Marth muttered, his hands clapping in a slow, boring motion.

"Are my ears deceiving me or does the prince sound jealous of the result?" Samus grinned.

Marth just scoffed, "as if, it was just beginners luck"

"This is the eighth time you face him on stage" Samus replied with a bigger smile "but if that helps you sleep at nights"

Marth rolled his eyes at the statement with a smirk as he walked to the holographic platforms that had finally appeared, ready to take them back to the Smash Mansion.

"That was an awesome match!" Pit exclaimed once Ike stepped out of the platform, back in the main lobby "the way you dodged and that taunt against Marth! It was amazing! You have to teach me that move!"

Ike gave him a small smile and messed the angel's hair as he made his way towards the showers, since fighting almost all day in Delfino Plaza stage had left him longing for the cold streams of high pressured water showers from the locker rooms. He was making his way towards the stairs –because he preferred them more than the holographic portals or the elevator if he had to be honest- when he nearly bumped into Link on the first staircase.

"Oh, Ike hey, great match" Link smiled at him, his hand fiddling with his gauntlet in a fail attempt to clasp it together.

Ike opened his mouth but he just croaked a small 'thanks' and walked upstairs, his back rigid as he disappeared from Link's view.

x

Link stared at the stairs a few more seconds, his smile fading as he turned. It's not that he was disappointed at the lack of conversation between him and the mercenary, but it had been weeks since they have all started to live together and he had hoped they would reach a level of almost friends by then, at least something past 'good morning' or 'good job'.

Sure, Ike never faulted during their matches and never looked distraught or cocky no matter if he won or lost, not to mention he rarely crossed words with the other smashers. Pit idolized him and Ike never pushed him away, Marth, despite the annoyance in his voice, actually respected him and even Zelda, who Link had known for ages now, said he was a rather peculiar but good person. Link had found himself drawn to the mercenary, what he thought a simple case of admiration slowly turning into a hopeless crush.

Yet no matter what scenario played around them, Link never got to hear more than a few words from Ike before he left the space they were at the moment.

Was it something he disliked of Link? He mused about it, hand still messing with the leather strap, when a familiar hand rested on his shoulder.

"Hey" princess Zelda smiled at her friend "what has you deep in thought?"

"Do you think there's the possibility that Ike might hate me?" he blurted, the tip of his ears turning pink at his sudden question "I, I mean, well you know"

Zelda grabbed Link's arm to fix the gauntlet, "you are being ridiculous did you know that?" Link frowned "I'm serious, there is no reason Ike would hate you, there's no reason he would hate anyone"

"But every time I run into him he acts as if it's tiresome to talk with me" he almost whined, a pout forming on his lips. Maybe he was being childish with the situation but he really wanted to know.

Zelda just hummed, "he does give the solitary vibes but he doesn't come off as someone who would dislike someone without reason" she added, the gauntlet fixed by then.

"But,"

"I remember you were almost the same the first time you arrived, communicating with nodding and grunting? It was hilarious to watch"

Link's ears flushed in embarrassment but Zelda was right in that, he hadn't been the most social the first time he was invited to the Smash Mansion.

"Now come on, it's almost dinner time and I for once would like my share of mint pudding before Kirby eats all of it"

Link pulled a face of fake disgust but joined his friend to the dining room.

x

Most of the smashers were already serving themselves from the unlimited buffet table while some few were eating on the long tables. Link saw Marth and Roy, a fellow smasher, on a heated discussion about something, probably Marth's latest match. Zelda walked straight towards the dessert table for one cup of chocolate mint pudding and joined her friends Samus and Peach on one side of the tables.

Red, a Pokémon trainer who had befriended the youngest competitors, was making sure the Pokémon had their fair share of dinner, keeping some of it away from Kirby.

Link shuddered when a booming laugh echoed on the other far side of the table, where Ganondorf and Snake were ignoring their food in favour to their arm wrestling match. He walked towards the food, his stomach already complaining at the lack of a meal already.

He found a good serving of his favourite treats and was about to walk towards Marth and Roy when the doors behind him opened again and Ike made his way into the room.

Link tried not to gape at how good Ike looked in that moment. The mercenary was just wearing his maroon undershirt with the sleeves rolled all the way to his elbows, as well as his usual white trousers, no sign of his tunic, cape, not even the gloves or his belt where he kept a regular sword in case he didn't have Ragnell with him. His hair was still in place with the green bandana and Link was able to smell the faint trace of the shampoo Ike had used. It smelled like mulberries or any type of berry if Link was honest, he wasn't an expert. That didn't stop him from thinking how good the scent fit the blue haired man.

Ike nodded at him, hands hiding in his pockets as he made his way towards the food. Link couldn't help but to smile; if Ike truly didn't like him he would have ignored him or walked past him but he had acknowledged his presence.

In a sense but it was a start.

He pretended to think in which choice of bread he should pick, side eyeing Ike's hesitation over the dinner, just for a couple more of seconds before he started to look suspicious.

Ike was holding a plate but his hand lingered between the roasted beef and the salad sections, his nose scrunched up in what seemed to be resignation.

Just then Ike looked up and looked at Link, noticing the gaze the Hylian had over him.

Link thought Ike would scowl at him or walk away but he was surprised when the mercenary talked to him.

"I promised my sister I would eat well while I was here" he said, eyeing the salads again "but I guess I'm not really into green leaves after all"

"I'd choose that one" Link pointed at one of the bowls "it has bacon bits mixed, tastes good in my opinion"

Ike looked at him and then at the bowl. Link saw his shoulders giving a small shrug as he reached for the wooden utensils, serving a good portion on his plate.

"Thanks" he muttered and made his way to one of the empty places on the table.

Link stumbled his way towards his friends, the 'you are welcome' stuck in his throat. He was so mesmerized by that casual conversation he didn't notice Roy stealing some of the bread rolls he had brought with him.

"Unbelievable" Marth scoffed "your pining levels have reached the roofs my friend"

"Huh?" Link looked at his friend but Marth just groaned in annoyance.

"You just suggested a salad and now you have this longing look as if you found that sacred sword all over again"

"I don't have a look" Link replied, slapping Roy's hand away from his plate "and I thought you hated him, or is it that you like him only on Fridays?"

Marth waved his hand, dismissing Link's words "I don't dislike his presence or whatsoever nor share an agenda about it"

"He just hates him when he kicks his ass in a brawl" Roy intervened with a smirk, yelping in sudden pain when Marth kicked his shin under the table "rude man!"

Marth smirked but paid no more attention to him. Link sometimes wondered why he was such a good friend with those two. Roy scoffed and excused himself, saying he was going to see if Pit would be nice enough to share the last bread rolls.

"Anyway" Marth continued as if that exchange hadn't happened, Link hiding the smile from Roy's frown as he walked away "I should congratulate you on having more than a five word exchange with him" Link arched an eyebrow in fake amusement "if you keep it up like this you might get a date in let's say, a year?"

"Funny" Link stabbed his bread roll with the fork, ready to eat it when in that moment he heard another booming laughter, the arm wrestling still going on the far side.

"Is there anyone else in here willing to try and defeat me?" Ganondorf's voice echoed in the room, his eyes scanning the smashers. Link wanted to groan and shut him up with the absurdity of his game, and judging by Marth's look, he seemed to understand.

"You do realize you stand zero chances against his bulky arms right?" the prince said but Link just rolled his eyes

"What gives, I have defeated him before"

"Yes, with a sword or your golden bracelets" Marth sighed, ignoring Link's fuming glare "but go ahead, prove you can somehow overthrow him with brute strength oh big macho"

Link scoffed and was about to stand up when he spotted Ike making his way towards Ganondorf and sitting right in front of him, surprising the Gerudo King.

"I'll take up that challenge" he said, arm already steady against the surface of the table. Many smashers had turned their heads to the show, suddenly curious of Ike's defiance. Marth crossed his eyes with Roy's, who was grinning besides Pit while raising both hands in a thumbs up sign and couldn't help but to heave a sigh. Of course the idiot had had something to do with it.

"Your loss kid" Ganondorf smirked, already on place and clasping his hand with Ike's.

Ike held his grip just as Snake gave the countdown, Ganondorf already applying strength to lean Ike's arm but Ike held in place.

"Would you look at that?" Marth smirked, his eyes switching from the showdown to Link's surprised expression "he seems to be doing fine"

"He's doing amazing" Link replied, watching surprised how Ike showed resistance to Ganondorf's strength. Figures, he thought, if he was able to handle that heavy sword of his with just one hand, arm wrestling against Ganondorf must be an easy game for the mercenary.

The sudden slam of Ganondorf's hand against the wooden surface startled him, a smile spreading on his face as he looked at Ike's smile.

"I win" was all he said, making his way back to where he was previously seated when Ganondorf clasped his wrist.

"I demand a rematch"

x

"You have green food on your plate"

Ike looked up from his meal to meet the red haired swordsman. It wasn't unusual for him to catch conversation with Roy, although the majority of the time he was almost hip attached to Marth and, to put it simple, Marth never seemed to decide whether to be nice with him or demand a fight.

"How is that a surprise?" Ike shrugged, picking another lettuce leaf covered in the dressing Pit had suggested.

"Is it because a green elf suggested you had a diet that doesn't involve only fat filling arteries?"

The mercenary chocked on his bite, the angel pushing a glass of water towards him.

"You will kill him like that" Pit said but Roy was already grinning with a bread roll on his hand.

"What? It was just an innocent comment"

Ike glared at him, his cheeks flushed after that small incident.

"Ok but for real" Roy bit his treat "why won't you just talk to the poor guy? And don't act dumb because I know about your stunt after the last match"

Ike ignored him, focused on finishing his plate as fast as possible. Roy had a point though; Ike was never able to cross 'normal' words with Link no matter what he tried. He always came off as rude or in a rush to get out of the situation but he was mesmerized by the blond hero. If his friends from the company knew of his behaviour over a crush he was certain he would never hear the end of it.

"Anyway!" Roy smirked "I have a plan for you to impress him enough and open a possible and normal conversation because come on man, you do not engage over the salad bar, leave that to Marth"

Pit smiled behind his cup of hot chocolate, already aware of how unreliable Roy's plans tended to be.

"I don't want to hear about it" Ike replied, still ignoring Roy's gaze, favouring to watch Link's back. The Hylian was discussing something with Marth and from what he could managed to observe, Marth seemed to be gloating on whatever he had said.

"Oh come on! It'll work trust me" Roy nudged Ike "see those guys over there?" he pointed at Snake and Ganondorf.

Ike rolled his eyes but complied with Roy's insistence. He looked at the men debating over arm wrestling, something Ike remembered playing against Tibarn when the days were slow or plain boring.

Ganondorf had stood up and caught most of the smasher's attention by challenging anyone to try and face him, Link's expression changing to one of annoyance.

"What about him?" Ike asked, still looking at them.

"What if I tell you Link would be really impressed if you defeated Ganondorf?"

Of course Roy was going to suggest a somewhat primitive way of flirting. As if showing raw strength had been of any help before.

"Pass" Ike started to stand up, ready to go waste time someplace else when he noticed Link's tensed shoulders, hands itching to hold a grip and go face the Gerudo king.

Roy smirked and nudged his head sideways, his way of motioning Ike to go give it a try.

"If this goes wrong, you are going to regret it bad" Ike muttered but walked towards Ganondorf. He didn't think he would actually defeat him but he could give it a try. If he lost then no harm done except some possible humiliation but if he did win, Ike mused for a second, Link would be surprised enough to try approaching. Something Ike clearly failed at doing.

"I'll take up that challenge" he could tell some pair of eyes had turned curious to where they were and Ike was suddenly regretting the idea. The last thing he wanted was more attention on what he did. He hadn't thought well with accepting Roy's idea.

"Your loss kid" Ganondorf smirked, already on place and clasping his hand with Ike's.

He heard Snake giving a quick countdown and suddenly Ganondorf's hand was pushing his to a side. Ike held his feet firm against the floor, a tip he got from Tibarn for this game, and gripped tighter Ganondorf's hand. He was strong, he had to admit that, but Ike knew strength wasn't the only key to win in arm wrestling. He controlled his breathe and started to add more strength in his arm, slowly but surely pushing Ganondorf's arm.

Ganondorf was starting to press more and balance them again when Ike used a spring of force and pushed all the way until Ganondorf's hand slammed against the table.

"I win" he said, trying not to smile so much. He stood up and was about to walk back with Pit and Roy when Ganondorf caught his wrist.

"I demand a rematch"

Somehow Ike knew he wouldn't get out of that so easily.

He was about to pull his arm with more force than necessary when he caught sight of Link rushing to his side.

"He won fair and square Ganondorf" he said, blue eyes focused on Ganondorf, his voice steady and firm. Ike tried not to show how astounding that looked, completely different from the smiling guy he saw around the hallways.

"And I'm demanding a rematch" Ganondorf replied, releasing Ike's wrist but Ike knew well enough to not walk away "or is the mercenary going to rely on a first timer luck?"

Ike was going to throttle Roy for this.

"Alright" he said "name the challenge"

Ganondorf smirked and Ike suddenly had a bad feeling. Ganondorf spoke, but his voice came lower than he expected, as if he didn't want anyone else to listen his words.

"One on one battle, Bridge of Eldin, one hour from now"

Ike held his frustration, he really wanted to rest for the day instead of having another brawl, but he was not going to go back on a challenge, even if it was just to feed someone's ego. It was a good thing Soren wasn't around to remind him of it.

He really should consider that last opinion.

"Fine" he finally said, remaining on his place as Ganondorf made his way out of the dining room, his cape oscillating behind him.

"Kid, you have a death wish" Snake said, patting Ike's shoulders before leaving. The other smashers started to move towards the double doors, careful not to bump into Ganondorf as to avoid feeding his frustration. A few patted Ike on the shoulder or arm, congratulating him for the small victory or wishing him luck for the match. Ike didn't know what to take from that.

"That took an unexpected turn" was all Ike thought of saying, turning to see Link "is he always like that?"

To his surprise, Link managed to give him a small smile "sort of? He can hold grudges for sure, but are you sure you want to do this? He can be…ruthless on the battlefield, more if he takes it personal"

"I'm sure I can manage" Ike shrugged, just realizing that might have come off as cockiness from his side, "I mean, he might be a tough opponent but I am not backing out of it"

Link chuckled and Ike had to pinch his arm with subtlety in order to avoid his cheeks from flushing.

"Want a word of advice?" Link smiled at him "he might be powerful but he is really slow"

"That makes us two" Ike sighed "I'm not really that fast"

"Oh you are faster than him, I can assure you that" Link said, a flush adorning his face as he turned his gaze to the door but Ike saw the pink on his skin, he could still see it on the pointy ears. Huh, maybe Roy's plan hadn't failed like he thought it would.

x

Link had felt pride, joy, nervousness, dread and fear in a span of less than ten minutes he didn't know how he was managing an actual conversation with Ike.

That it had to be thanks to Ganondorf's refusal of losing, well, he wasn't going to take the situation for granted.

"You think so?" Ike tempted to ask and Link was so close to throw all possible ways Ike could totally win against Ganondorf but he restraint from spilling more than he needed to.

"Definitely" Link nodded "your taunting will do great, just be careful of his close attacks"

Ike was looking at him only, something that made the back of Link's neck to tingle in excitement. Ike's eyes were a piercing, electric blue unlike Link's clear ones, and this was the first time his eyes reflected something like a reassurance and warmth that made Link want to hold the mercenary close and never letting go of him.

"Ah, anyway" Link composed himself "I should uhm, let you go get ready and" he trailed off, unsure of what to say next but Ike just gave him a warm smile that made Link's knees weak for a second.

"Thanks, for, for the advice I mean" Ike said almost in a rush and made his way out of the almost empty dining room.

Link almost beamed. He was still worried for him, Ganondorf was a difficult challenge after all but Ike had been nice with him, talked even! He hated to admit it but Marth was right about how bad he had it for the Crimean mercenary.

"I see things turned out alright"

"Shut up Roy" Marth groaned from behind, pulling Roy by the collar of his shirt, "unless you were about to tell us what did you do in all this mayhem"

Roy held a hand on his chest as if he'd been shot, his face in an obviously exaggerated pain expression.

"You wound me; I was just trying to help out"

Wait, what?

"How was I supposed to know boar man would react that way?"

"You made Ike go challenge Ganondorf?!"

"No! Of course not!" Roy exclaimed, showing Link a nervous smiled "I just gave him a small push?"

Marth pinched the bridge of his nose, Link wanted to smack his friends' head.

"Hey! Are you forgetting something here? He accepted! That means he is interested in Link"

"That doesn't mean anything!" Link huffed.

"Actually" Marth said "the flame head has a valid point"

"He does?"

"I do?"

Marth narrowed his eyes, enough to make Roy close his mouth, "think about it Link, it was obvious you wanted to shut him up, despite whatever idiocy Roy told Ike, he went and faced Ganondorf, probably to impress you"

Link's ears turned bright red.

"Barbarian way but somehow it turned out to be effective" Marth smirked this time and oh how Link regretted starting this conversation "but what happened? Did Ganondorf let it go just like that?"

"No, a battle in the bridge of Eldin, just one round" Link replied.

"Sweet! Can we go watch?" Roy asked with excitement, earning a glare from the other swordsmen.

x

The bridge of Eldin was one of the favourite stages because it consisted on a small zone of the bridge and the possible threat of it being destroyed at certain points of the match. Ike knew it belonged to Link's home, which was probably the reason Ganondorf had chosen it from all possible places.

Ike wasn't nervous about the battle. He had had his fair share in the past years of both victory and defeat, and he knew guys who wanted to fight to show off would mostly come as full of themselves, something that usually played well against them.

But this had to be the first time he stepped on stage to actually cause an impression on someone. Why did he have to go with Roy's stupid idea from the first place? He wondered one more time as he grabbed his sword and stepped out of his room. There were just few minutes left for the decided time and he was not going to show up late.

He made his way towards towards the lobby with the holographic platforms. At least there wasn't going to be an audience, which he was really glad for. Not that he was bothered by it but whenever he had to fight he tried to never see the spectators; otherwise he would have never been able to lift his sword to begin with.

"Should I start listing the pros and cons of what you are going to do?"

Ike groaned, recognising that voice.

"Pro! Pixie boy has his eyes on you, con! You'll probably end up making a fool of yourself"

"Snake, shut up"

The soldier snickered, moving out of his hiding spot to wrap an arm around Ike's shoulder "I'm just being optimistic kiddo"

"I'm not a kid" Ike sighed, accustomed now to Snake ignoring his comeback.

"But fighting the bull for the hand of your loved one is ages old, you need to modernize yourself"

"I'm not doing this for that!" Ike blushed but Snake was still talking.

"I mean, I don't know how you managed back there but you are basically going as a peacock to show your colourful feathers"

"Don't you have kids to terrorize or cakes to stuff in your mouth?"

"Hey, don't insult Twinkies my man, they are little spongy heavens"

Ike rolled his eyes, resigning to listen the rest of Snake's poems about cream filled cakes, at least until they reached the lobby, where Snake merely pushed him into the platform with a grin and a thumbs up signal.

He was careful not to stumble his way out of the platform once he reached the stone bridge. Ike scanned the edges of the arena and walked more to the middle when he heard muffled cheering, eyes widening in a mixture of surprise and horror when he spotted Roy, Marth and Link in the spectator lines. So much for going without an audience.

"Yeah! Go Ike!" Roy howled with a grin, Marth sighing next to him and Link, well, he gave a small wave when Ike noticed them.

Ike was so going to bury Roy alive if he came out of this alive.

"I see you have a cheering squad ready" he heard Ganondorf approaching him, a smirk on his face as he cracked his knuckles.

Ike didn't bother to respond to that, instead getting in position to fight.

x

"Roy would you shut up already?" Marth groaned but Roy just slapped his shoulder and kept cheering.

"Let him be Marth" Link offered a small smile "he probably misses the arena"

"That was low" Roy frowned, sulking back in his seat "you all couldn't handle my awesome moves"

"Speaking of…" Link trailed off to look back at the stage, ignoring Marth and Roy's bickering.

He leaned against the rail of their seats, on edge about the match taking place. Ganondorf was throwing punches and aiming to kick at Ike's head but the mercenary was able to dodge and taunt at the right times, eventually gaining the upper hand in damaging Ganondorf, sending him almost to the edge of the arena.

It was when a horn in the distance sounded that Ike counterattacked one of Ganondorf's magic punches, sending the King flying out of the screen, thus declaring him the winner. However, Link gazed in shock that the Goblins that had dropped the bomb before giving chance to the portals to appear.

x

"Ike look out!" he yelled, but his voice was muffled by the explosion.

The horn had almost distracted Ike from the fight but he had eventually managed to trap Ganondorf in a move that ensured his victory, sending him away from the bridge. The man had fought well, almost throwing Ike out of balance plenty of times, but the smirk he had was what threw Ike off.

He had seen plenty of smirks before, usually dark and malicious ones but this? Ganondorf was taunting him sure and he looked like he wanted to really throw Ike off stage but he didn't sense a single thread of malice from the Gerudo King. Even when he twisted Ragnell against him for the victory, it all came weird to him.

It was then that he remembered Link and the others were still in the spectator seats and, no, it couldn't be.

Did Ganondorf actually pull a stunt on Ike to…?

He shook his head, there was no way that was what happened.

Then again, Ganondorf was comrade of Snake, who at the same time tried to get under Ike's skin every now and…

"Oh you have to be joking" Ike muttered to himself, a smile on his face as he tried to piece the information together. He had been played into this and he had fallen alright.

He was about to walk back to the platform when he tripped over a round object, almost falling on top of it.

Ike blinked confused as to what was it when he realised, the bomb had been left there before the match ended.

"Oh…" he turned to the other side in an attempt to escape the blast when the bomb exploded, throwing him even further.

He landed on his left side, the knot of his belt digging into his hip and rubble falling near his head. His side hurt as well as his head, one hand still holding with miracle onto his sword. Ike took his time to sit up, wheezing and coughing some of the dust the detonation had caused. He felt something warm trailing down his forehead and had to hold back a groan of pain when he tried to arch his back.

Of course the health system would shut down after the announcing.

Luckily he had reached a considerable distance from the place where now laid a hole between the bridge, but the rubble and fall had taken its toll and he was in pain all over his body.

"I've had worse" Ike muttered to no one in particular, getting up slowly while using Ragnell as support, but his legs quivered and he had to end up using his sword as a supportive cane.

"Ike!" he heard numerous voices calling after him "oh goddesses are you alright?"

"The hell he is" Roy exclaimed "but wow he was lucky to avoid that blast with the systems off!"

"Roy you are not helping" Marth exclaimed, him and Link approaching the mercenary "we'll go to the hospital wing directly, is the platform ready?"

"Yes, come on Ike, let's get you some help"

Ike grunted, his head pulsing in pain as he tried to walk between the swordsmen towards the portal.

x

"You know, next time you should avoid all of this trouble and just ask Link out" Roy commented as Ike waited for Doctor Mario to finish the check-up of his head.

Ike felt a vein pulsating in his forehead as well as all his blood returning to his face, probably ready to create a fountain out of the cut he had on his head.

"Uhm…" Link looked at Ike with a flushed expression "I will have to agree with Roy… I mean, the asking and…er, guess we could have had avoided this"

"Eh… well" Ike mumbled "I guess so? Yes, well"

"Oh for crying out loud" Marth groaned, rubbing his eyes in frustration "you two are impossible! Just go on a date this weekend already!"

Roy snickered despite being whacked by an annoyed prince and Ike couldn't help the small smile on his face as he and Link crossed glances, both laughing at their friends because they were right, even if it had cost some whacking to get to it.


End file.
